There's nowt quite so romantic as the word "picnic". To me, it evokes summer days, babbling brooks, blue skies, fluffy clouds, a gentle breeze and lying back on a rug while the kids frolic in long grass. The reality is closer to this: "I hate sandwiches!" squabbling, wasp stings, damp backsides and, depending on whether you're in a rural or urban setting, a faint whiff of cow or dog leavings in the air.
One day, though, Iwill have the picnic of my dreams, and my picnic basket will include all of this week's dishes. You may not want to go to the effort of making all three (unless you're planning to propose or confess to an affair), but even one will lend your picnic a sense of occasion (failing that, they're also ideal summer lunch dishes, canapés or as starters for a dinner party). In any case, the ability to make a proper hot water crust is one of those things that, like speaking French or playing piano, makes a person more rounded. And if you can knock together a scotch egg, too, you areofficially a keeper.
Pork pies
These are traditional pies, but you could add cubes of diced apple or cheddar, or other flavourings such as thyme or sage. Makes four.
For the filling
250g minced lean pork shoulder
0.5g mace
0.5g black pepper
3g table salt
25g water
70g pork back fat or lardo, minced or blitzed to a paste
For the pastry
320g plain flour
10g salt
10g icing sugar
200g lard
90g water
Put the filling ingredients in a stand mixer and beat with the paddle attachment (or beat vigorously with a wooden spoon). Portion into 80g balls, roll as tightly and neatly as possible, then freeze for half an hour to firm up. Take out, flatten slightly to give a cylindrical shape, then return to the freezer to freeze fully (overnight is best, but a couple of hours will be OK).
For the pastry, put the flour, salt and sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer or large mixing bowl placed on a damp tea towel to help secure it. Put the lard and water in a saucepan, cover (clingfilm will do) and bring to a boil. Carefully remove the lid, tip into the mixer (or bowl) and beat on the fastest setting (or as fast as your biceps will allow) for 30 seconds. Turn off the mixer/scrape your arms up off the floor, and leave to sit for five minutes; the fat will split out of the mix. Beat again at top speed for 30 seconds to a minute, until the fat has been reincorporated.
Lay a sheet of clingfilm on a work surface and tip the dough on top. Squash out to a rough 2cm-thick rectangle, then cover with another piece of clingfilm, transfer to an oven tray and freeze. (If you're in a hurry, you can skip this step, but the freezing and later defrosting makes the pastry much easier to handle.)
When ready to assemble the pies, divide the defrosted pastry into 80g portions. Place each between two sheets of clingfilm and roll into a 12cm-diameter circle. Put a portion of pie filling in the centre of each disc and wrap the pastry around it. Crimp the pie around the top, to give it that a traditional look, and punch a small steam hole in the lid. Put the pies on an oven tray lined with nonstick parchment and refrigerate for half an hour.
Heat the oven to 220C/425F/gas mark 7. Bake the pies for 15 minutes, then turn the tray 180 degrees, turn the heat to 200C/390F/gas mark 4 and cook for 15 minutes more, until deep golden-brown all over. Check the base of each pie is cooked (if not, give them a few more minutes), then transfer to a cooling rack. The pies are best eaten straight away, but will keep for a few days in the fridge.
Scotch eggs
Gluten-free sausages, black pudding, flour and breadcrumbs all work well here. Makes 12.
12 quails' eggs
180g sausagemeat, black pudding orvegetarian black pudding
2 eggs
50g water
100g flour
150g breadcrumbs (Japanese-style work best, but homemade are fine. Just don't use the orange ones)
Sea salt and black pepper
Bring a saucepan of water to a boil, set a timer to two minutes 15 seconds, prepare an ice bath and grab a slotted spoon – timing is crucial, so get everything in place before you start.
Carefully drop all the eggs into therapidly boiling water and start the timer. When there are 10 seconds to go, grab your spoon and, the moment the timer goes, quicklytransfer the eggs to the icedwater. Leave to cool for 10 minutes, then carefully peel, dipping them in water to rinse off any bits of shell. Roll on kitchen paper to dry and set aside.
Portion the sausagemeat into 15gballs, flatten into a circle with your palms, then wrap around eachegg – the eggs are delicate, sogo carefully.
Once all the eggs are wrapped in meat, whisk the eggs and water in abowl; and put both the flour and breadcrumbs in separate bowls. Rollthe wrapped eggs lightly in the flour, then dust off any excess. Working with two or three floured eggs at a time, now dip them in the egg mix, then roll in breadcrumbs, gently pressing on the crumbs to help them stick. Repeat the egg and breadcrumb process a second time.
Heat the oil in a deep-fat fryer (ordeep-sided pan) to 190C, and cook the scotch eggs in batches for one to two minutes, until golden brown all over. Transfer to a plate lined with kitchen towel, to drain, then sprinkle with sea salt and blackpepper. They are best eaten the same day, but will keep in an airtightcontainer in the fridge for acouple of days.
Salad cream
The rightful place for salad cream is a fish finger sandwich. It's also an ideal dip for scotch eggs and pork pies.
8g caster sugar
2g plain flour
5g mustard powder
1 yolk
260g cream
4.5g salt
40g malt vinegar
Whisk all the ingredients in a bowl. Half-fill a saucepan with water, bring to a boil, then stand the bowl in the hot water and turn off the heat. Ifyouhave a probe, cook to 80C; otherwise, whisk until thickened. Chill, then refrigerate overnight.
Fruit water
No picnic is complete without something cold from a flask, and this wonderfully refreshing drink isjust the ticket. Lemon verbena, sweet cicely or mint work in place ofthyme; a dash of gin or vodka wouldn't be out of place, either.
500g strawberries, raspberries, redcurrants or blackcurrants (or amixture of soft summer fruit)
120g sugar
750g water
50g lemon juice
10g thyme sprig
Soda water
Remove any stalks from the fruit, blitz with all the other ingredients except the thyme and soda, then add the thyme to the puree. Refrigerate for an hour, to infuse, then strain through a fine-mesh sieve into a flask. Fill with ice, top up with soda water and add spirits, if using.
